Here's the thing with kids, you can't wait for their next exciting milestone and then they get there and it bites you in the arse. You know what I mean, you can't wait for them to walk ... and then they start running off on you in public. You can't wait for them to talk ... and then they won't stop or worse start talking back. Or the one which has today effected me  - you can't wait for them to grow little teeth so they can start eating whatever everyone else is eating and then they start biting other kids with those new, sharp little fangs. 

Trying to find something new and interesting to do in the school holidays is always a challenge but last year we became members of FOZ (that's Friends of the Zoo - for those not in the know) and we have been able to pop over to the Zoo for little visits all year. It's been awesome.

The great thing is we get to have a little looky loo and then head home when we have had enough, not just hang around until we get our "moneys worth". As you probably know - smaller people have had enough fairly early in the piece and they morph from luscious to feral pretty quickly. I don't think we were the only people in Melbourne who had that inspired idea today though, as every man and his dog appeared to be there walking in front of my photo opportunities and invading my personal space.  

Alright truth be told, it may not have only been for the kids. Selfishly, I wanted to go and hang out in the humidity of the butterfly house and pretend I was on holidays, somewhere nice in the tropics. So, we cut a path through the crowds and as we made it to the butterfly house we found that it was closed for maintenance. How disappointing for me... I mean the kids.

Anyhoo, we spent about an hour or so ooohing and aaahhing over the babies. Orang-utan and elephants - that is, and in the seal and penguin enclosures which strangely we seem to have missed every time on our previous visits. We then fought our way back through the crowds - there was a huge long line out the front of people still waiting to get in to see the animals (obviously not for the serenity, as everyone else was in there taking up space too) and we still made it home in time for afternoon naps. The two year olds not mine. So I thought I should share some of our happy zoo snaps with you.

Enjoy,

Lee

I just created this quirky quote to get you through the weekend. Stop feeling guilty about everything and enjoy being a mum, a woman and a lover of cupcakes!! Ha Ra!

Cheerio,

Lee

I have posted a little about finding your joy in the past and I know that sometimes when you are bogged down by the same old stuff each week, every week, it's hard to focus on the good stuff. In a concerted effort to focus more on the good stuff I have decided to share the highlights of all the things I enjoyed or the stuff which made me smile each week. Basically some "joylights" from the week.

If you have not seen Snow White and the Huntsman get yourself a babysitter and get out there. I know its a effort and it's cold - but do it anyway. I also went to see Rock of Ages, with Tom Cruise which was not bad either. I actually caught both of these movies in the last week which is ironic because these are the only movies I've actually made it to see all year! That's probably my quota for 2012, so don't expect a lot more of them.

* The fact that my two year old little guy is now talking in sentences - yay, very cute. Although it's usually to demand something, so manners are high on the to do priority list. And my nine year old is finally experimenting with new foods - dinner times having always been a battle at our house. So now that that's subsided we have gone back to being regaled with Skylander stories and knock knock jokes at the dinner table.... but I'm sure that's a win - Right?

* Pinterest - http://pinterest.com/ - if you have not gotten into it yet, check it out. It's like an online cork board to keep all your stuff on the net. I know it sounds like one more thing to learn about but trust me it's worth it.  There is some great stuff for the kids and you on there.

* I also enjoyed the fact that my hubby was on holidays with us this week during the school holidays which made it feel less like groundhog day, even though it was a "stay-cation" (i.e - we pretty much hung around the house, unless you count our visit to Costco and my happy place San Churros as a day out).

Wishing you a weekend of "joylights"

Tooddles,

Lee

We all know one. Just like the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Huntsman - we find her a little bit hard to take and slightly unhinged but we have to deal with her anyway because this type of person is unavoidable.

You know what I'm talking about, the stay at home mum that has spent so long feeling under- appreciated or unnoticed or didn't get enough attention from her father when she was small ....I don't really know the reason why... does it matter??

At this point, I should take the opportunity to point out that this affliction is not isolated to stay at home mums and not all stay at home mums are on a power trip - but they seem to pop up when you least expect it AND it can be scary!

These power trips are usually unpaid "labours of love", such as the canteen mum or the mum left in charge of the uniform shop, or helping out in the library. It often (but must be said not always) revolves around some school activity .... because she is a much better mum than you are - giving up her time to help those around her, AND you should know that!!

These are the women that call you up, to let you know that they are doing you a favour (i.e. the job they put their hand up for) and what an inconvenience it is. Your uniform came in, your book is out and you haven't filled in a form properly. They speak to you in a loud, clipped tone like they are explaining something to an idiot. (You). And they leave you just as abruptly, thinking about how you could have handled that differently and wondering how you just let someone speak to you so rudely, when you spend most of your day trying to instil manners into the small people around you.

The same can also be said for those women on a power trip who claim something as their own and will fight others off, "mean girls style" for ownership of it AND watch out if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time - no matter how clueless you are to their rules! These things can be (and are not limited to) stuff like parking spaces and a particular spot in the gym. Stuff, you can't actually own but they will bitch slap you for standing in it anyway. 
 
This type of person although often coming across like a "don't mess with me"  type of mother, always strikes me as a little sad. I often wonder how sad and  miserable they must be in their everyday life when the only way they know how to  deal with people is by treating them like inconvenient idiots?? It must be very tiring and lonely. I mean, nobody actually wants to have coffee with the Evil Queen do they?? They just keep their heads down and try to remain inconspicuous so she doesn't start in on them.

Something to think about.

Toddles,

Lee

You've just popped out a baby and you're laying there in the hospital bed recovering from the whole ordeal and one of the first questions you get from visiting well wishers is "so when are you having another one?" ......Umm What!?

I had to stop myself from waving my arms towards said baby (sale of the century style) and calmly stating, (oh, alright, through gritted teeth) "...and here we have one I made earlier."

People are always full of helpful advice, (especially when you have children) which they are not afraid to pass on to you and whether you actually know them or not is irrelevant. You know dear, they say, you better start trying for your next one soon or they'll be too far apart in age and they wont play together! (Like that's something to aim for! My brother and I are just over two years apart and we finally stopped trying to kill one another when I hit 18, we started "playing" well together when we hit our 20's).

So, it got me thinking about the perfect age gap for siblings. I know, everyone has an opinion on this, closer together, further apart, a sensible 3 year gap? Whatever the opinion, like most things there are definite advantages and disadvantages for each.

My children have a lovely 7 year gap and I planned it that way because 7 is my favourite number and .... just kidding. The real reason is that it took me 7 years to get over the horror of my first time experience!! It was bloody hard work. I was not one of those people who glowed and talked about how lovely it was to be creating a life and went for brunch. I was one of those people who's boobs got so big I had to rest them on the table at dinner, when I wasn't in the toilet throwing up that is. My hair got incredibly greasy and my skin broke out like a teenagers and I wanted to punch those glowy, brunchy people.

On an unrelated note, my second pregnancy was marginally better, but I still wasn't glowing and I still didn't brunch and yes, I was still in the toilet throwing up. Aside from all that once our new little guy came to live with us (you know, after the initial torture of sleep deprivation had subsided), I found that the age gap was just lovely. The bigger, older brother is a great help and it has been nice to be able to spend this time bonding with our little guy, while his brother is off at school. Having said that though, it was like going back to the start when you are half way through a game. We didn't have anything, so we had to go and get set up for a baby again and then there's the child proofing and missing stuff because you're home for naps. Even with all that, I have still loved this age gap.

Friends that had there first children when I did, quickly headed back for seconds (and in some cases thirds!) and found it difficult and confronting to have to deal with so many small and unreasonable people at the same time. But now, they're all heading out for coffees, careers and after work drinks as their little chicks are now all off at school and participating in similar age grouped activities at the same time.  

I guess the answer is, you're just ready when you're ready. There is no perfect gap and what works for you may not work for others. I do believe if I had gone back for more earlier I would now be quietly sitting somewhere with lots of greenery, in a nice padded corner, rocking back and forwards ... mumbling something about it not stopping..... actually that still sounds nice.

Whatever works for you,

Lee

We often hear about the great divide between the stay at home mum and the working mum (exacerbated by the media) which can leave both groups feeling resentful towards the other.

Even though there are positives to both ways of mothering.  Working mums can feel the guilt of leaving a large portion of their child rearing in the hands of someone who is paid to be nice to their kids. Whilst stay at home mums can sometimes feel resentful that they may have given up their own sense of self to stay at home and be there for their kids.

It's a hard one.

Some mums need to work for financial reasons or just for their own mental well being. Some mums love being at home with their offspring, able to attend every school presentation and participate in school canteen and even playground duties. (Which I find quite astounding - seeing as my background is teaching. Nobody actually puts  their hand up for playground duty. Even when you are paid to do it..... but I digress). 

Then you have that other group of mums, the part time worker. This mum, whilst appearing to have the best of both worlds can often find it difficult to strike up a perfect balance. It's hard to make co-workers feel like you are pulling your weight, especially when you are finishing off at the end of the day (after doing four days work in two) and you hear the casual comment "enjoy your long weekend" as you head out the door to your "other job" - full time mum. Then you go home to sit around and watch Dr Phil, eating Tim Tams, while your children entertain themselves until naptime and you don't give work another thought! NOT.

But, back to my original point (yes I know, it's a long time coming) it's all hard. 

There isn't one right way to be a mother and it's hard enough without the rivalry. How about we give each other a break and offer support to a mother who is on a different "team" to our own?

After all, what would it hurt??

Cheers, 

Lee


 

I got up extra early the other day to capture the beauty that is a sunrise over suburban Melbourne. OK, so it wasn't that early. The sun didn't get going until 7.20 - so it wasn't really that much of an effort. But it was cold....... and it is beautiful

Take a moment to look outside the mundane for the beauty in everyday moments.

Enjoy,

Lee

I think I have said it all. Self medication anyone??

Cheers,

Lee