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I used to be a party girl. Not the kind that organises parties for others, who goes all out for a one year old birthday party, you know the kind with a fairy and /or magician, balloon animals and a seven layered cake that the birthday person is never actually going to remember. I mean the kind that used to kick up her dancing shoes in dark clubs with dark strangers and drag her sorry self home just as the rest of the world was getting up for their morning walks to collect the paper or buy milk.

I used to love those days. At the time, I mean. Not now. Now I'm out and it hits 10.30 and I think "oh is it that late already!" The old me (party girl), used to feel sad for people like me. Sad "old" people sitting at home on a Friday night. I used to say that the day "what kind of lunch meat is most suitable for a kid's lunch" becomes my topic of conversation - kill me. Sadly, I have become that person. Sad for the old me, the new me is actually OK with it and understands the significance of being in charge of another person's life and the need to create a healthy foundation which gives them the best possible start.

So as a nod to my old self who uttered phrases like "Whose up for cocktails!", "It's not late, the suns not even up yet!" and "OMG - I love this song, someone has to dance with me!" - I give you a list of the top 15 things I never ever thought I would be saying but have in fact uttered since becoming a parent.

1. How nice, being able to go to the toilet on my own.
2. Are you up to something sneaky or just doing a poo?
3. What happened to your pants?
4. Stop licking the dog.
5. I don't care, eat it anyway.
6. A Wiggles concert. That sounds like fun!
7. Is that snot or drool?
8. Get that out of your mouth!
9. Spit that into my hand, right now.
10. Why are you naked?
11. The dog is not a horse, so stop trying to ride her!
12. Get your face off the television!
13. Sure. Let's watch Toy Story, again.
14. Yes, that is a penis and no, I don't have one.
15. Put that back it's not lipstick, it's a tampon.

Got anything you never thought you'd be saying but have? Here's your place to share it, go for it!

Cheers

Lee

 


11/15/2012 8:20pm

I love it!! Ahhh...the days of being ferried home in a taxi & waving to my dad who was up for the day, walking the dog!
There have been a few of those comments here like:
- stop licking your sister
- your sister is NOT a horse
- stop licking the carpet

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11/15/2012 11:44pm

Today I said to the 2 year old, "Stop throwing fruit and don't throw that hamster again!"

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Lee
11/16/2012 12:08am

I am still laughing from that one!

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11/16/2012 12:15am

This morning, after being asked multiple times to give approval to objects in the potty 'yes, I saw your poo. It is a big one!'

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That list is gold. I am yet to utter something truly unexpected yet but as Mia is only just about to turn one I am sure the time will come very, very soon!

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11/16/2012 1:18am

"Shut the door. You weren't born in a tent." That was today's - I could hear my father in every line ... GAH!

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11/16/2012 3:30am

My sisters all time favourite is "Indi, please stop licking the bin". And it was a bin at a shopping centre! I think mine is "Please stop chewing your shoes".

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11/16/2012 2:43pm

I still kind of miss my party girl...sigh...

In the last 24 hours:

"You pooed! You pooed! I'm so proud of you!"

"Stop licking the inside of the toilet lid. That's yucky."

"What have you done with the elephant? Leave it alone please."

"Why is your bottle in the toilet? Pee goes in the toilet, not bottles."

"Where are your pants? That's your vagina. That's not where your bottle goes either."

"Yes, the baby just peed on mommy. He doesn't go in the potty yet."



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